I had to write something for creative writing. Here it is.
Bereena the cleric sat quietly by the fire, casually turning the small spit that was skewering a small child. While she was by no means considered an overly pious worshipper, she still enjoyed making sacrifices to the great god of evil, Barney the purple dinosaur. Pus, if she stopped making sacrifices, what would she eat? Over the years she had grown accustomed to the sweet meet of babies and she had no reason to stop taking such easy targets. The hunt that day, however, had been tough for Bereena.
Bereena had been trailing the fat kid for a mile through the woods. His stride was casual as he walked to a picnic spot to eat the same meal he had every day. Bean burritos, grande style. As soon as he stopped to eat, Bereena planned to drop a chocolate bar near him. His fat boy sense of smell would surely lead him to the edge of the brush, where she would beat his chubby ass down with a hammer, thus killing and tenderizing him at one time. Once she made sure he was on the trail, she quickly ran ahead to the spot where he usually lunched at and waited for him to move into position. However, minutes passed and the fat kid never waddled to his usual spot. That fatty had gotten too tired to walk and had stopped to eat his lunch on the path instead of going to the clearing. A minor setback really. Bereena just backtracked and found him munching on his grande style burritos. She pulled the piece of chocolate from her pouch and quickly tossed it onto the path in front of her. Sure enough tubby started sniffing the air and turning his head. Within seconds he had located the chocolate and was running to it. Well, running as fast as a fat kid can anyways. Bereena looked on happily as her plan fell into place. Everything had gone perfectly. It was going to be another simple kill at that point, but the fat kid did something unexpected. As soon as he bent down to retrieve the chocolate he released a mighty fart that shook the surrounding woods and sent a methane cloud right at Bereena. As the putrid air surrounded her she reeled as the stench overtook her and fainted forward into the path, right in front of the fat boy who was smiling proudly as he stared at the rapidly browning foliage surrounding him. The lack of oxygen blurred her vision and all she saw before she passed out was a gigantic blob stumbling down the path.
Bereena wasn’t sure how long she had been out cold, but it was well progressed in the afternoon before she was finally able to stand up. The fat kid wasn’t around, he had probably escaped. She would have to pray to Barney for forgiveness that night. Dejectedly she trudged down the path and turned the bend only to find her prey laying dead with a look of pure agony on his face. It seemed the burritos that had saved him from her had also caused him to violently expel his intestines. Bereena would have a feast that night after all! She wouldn’t even have to pray to Barney for kissing her prey. She quickly fought off the squirrels that were munching on the peanuts left in his feces and hauled him back to camp.
Bereena curled her knees up to her chest and smiled inwardly at the days events. It really hadn’t turned out so bad. She had served her purpose and would be feed on the fat kid for weeks. The smell cooking flesh drifted into her nostrils and she couldn’t help but pick off a piece and take a bite, just to see how it tasted. Grande flavored.
Not very good, but I forgot about it until 30 minutes ago lol. | 
